A Daughter's Thoughts…

As I was washing up the dishes, I was listening to a commercial inbetween songs being played on the radio. It was heartbreaking; two mothers affected by gun violence here in London. The first mother who spoke lost her son in gun violence. The second mother’s son was one that pulled the trigger and killed someone else. You could clearly hear the heartache in both of these parents; one can only imagine their anguish.

However what stopped me in my tracks was when I heard the second mother say that her son was really a “good boy” and that she had no idea what made him pull the trigger. I must say that this is part of the problem – too many people think that they are supporting their loved one when they essentially call them a “good boy”. Now I’m not a seasoned parent, but I firmly believe that we do our families no favours when we refuse to look squarely at the facts and fail to point out wrongdoing. It is misguided to think that “shopping” an errant son or daughter is being disloyal. I recall reading this story a while back about a woman who informed the police that her sons viciously attacked a man, leaving him blind in one eye . Amazingly she was made an outcast from her family! For doing the right thing! No one wants to see a loved one in jail but really, could none of them see that what she did probably stopped them from becoming murderers? I’m glad that she listened to her conscience.

How many of us have been to a  funeral where people were eulogised as a “good lad really”, when many in the congregation knew that the  departed was involved in illegal activity and that this was the result of their demise?

I’ve never understood the mentality of  being an “informer” or “grass” as a bad thing. Perhaps its one of the things that the prophet Isaiah warned about when he said, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!” (Isaiah 5:20). The book of Deuteronomy is replete with verses advising the Israelites to purge evil from among them. When a transgression – from breaking a school window or stealing apples to rape or murder – has been committed, it does the community good and the perpetrator good to call a spade a spade.

At the root of all this though, is a refusal for us to admit that our loved ones may well have done wrong, even if they confess it without remorse. At some level, we all deny that we’re thoroughly depraved and deserve God’s holy judgment on us. We underestimate God’s holiness and we underestimate our innate evil. Beyond sin being what we do, it is what we say, think and is our condition. Thank God for the gospel, that He has sent His Son, Jesus to atone for the sins of those who repent and put their trust in Him.

Mothers, fathers, grandparents, family, whoever. If you really love your family member or friend and you know that they’re heading down the wrong road, show that love by telling them that what they’re doing isn’t right. Show that love by daring to be in the unpopular minority. Show them that love in the knowledge that you could be saving them and possibly someone else from having blood on their hands.